You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
