I don't remember. Are we still dating?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
