your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
