Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
