Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
