Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize