Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
