i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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