i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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