And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
