Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
