the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
