One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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