in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's the barista slut.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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