The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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