Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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