he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
