Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
be right there i have to get my cape
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
