i already hear my dad disowning me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
