Whod you bang
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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