I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
