Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
