I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
