I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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