I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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