It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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