and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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