Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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