it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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