I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
