Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wish i was in the wii world.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just invented taco cereal.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
