did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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