Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can vaginas get frostbite?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
