i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
