And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
