I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
