He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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