i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
