i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
