I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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