i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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