I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
