What did we do last night that was yellow?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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