don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
