dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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