All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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