I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
