Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
