I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
