You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
