So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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