can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
